check it out our google latitudes are spooning
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
