Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
