remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
