wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
