Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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