can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
