She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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