I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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