remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
