There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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