On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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