the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
