he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
