I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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