Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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