We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize