So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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