Im at strip club and am horny
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
