I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
