i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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