Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
