you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Randomize
