The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
