Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
