Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
