Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
