She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
love makes seman taste better
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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