i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We left the knife in your bed.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
