These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just puked most of my soul out..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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