Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You can't motorboat a personality
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
