I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
