i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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