Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So here I am, sexting at work.
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