But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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