Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
