stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
