So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
