I need help removing her.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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