And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He? As in you personified your dick?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
