So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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