Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
