I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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