I heard we made out
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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