Small penises have feelings too.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
