im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
