I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
