He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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