Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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