we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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