I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Randomize
