You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I have already put on my inside pants.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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